I don’t know when it happened. Or how it happened. Just that it happened. I wanted out. What made it seem even odder was that everything was perfectly aligned: a loving husband, a dream job, financial security. And yet it seeped in slowly somehow finding its way into the deep dark recesses of my mind. Don’t get me wrong. Life was/is good. There was just something eating away at me: was this really what I wanted? What did I want? Why did I feel like I was selling myself short? Not fully contributing to this world in this lifetime?
I see now that I had settled, settled into the routine of doing exactly what society expected of me… or perhaps more precisely what I thought society expected of me. Today what is bubbling to the surface for me is just the beginning, the beginning of a revolution. I had completely lost these ideals, ideals deeply rooted in my soul. But now I need them more than ever. To not have them in my life means certain death. Hence this is my passion project:
More real connection. I want to hear your story. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to hear about your heart breaks and your successes. I want deep meaningful conversation about where you came from, and how you came to be who you are today. I want to know your hopes and dreams. The idealist in me wants to do this over long talks sipping tea in front of a fireplace with cats curled on our laps and dogs napping at our feet, but I know I cannot wait for this perfect setting. Tell me your story.
More nature. I feel the need to dig in the dirt, to plant the tiniest of seeds and to nurture and care for the tiny sprouts, watching them grow and blossom. I want to be more attune to cycles of mother nature and the specialness of each season. I long to learn more about the power of plants, flowers, and herbs for healing; and discover ancient wisdom handed down generation to generation.
More mindfulness. Last but not least, I feel the need to get honest with myself. How am I showing up in life, are the choices I am making in alignment with who I am at the very heart? I see now that most of my choices have been made from a place of obligation. I have, to my credit, been very responsible. But in doing so I have robbed myself of living to my fullest potential, of reaching for my wildest dreams. This will be a hard habit to change, but change it must. With each impending choice, I must look at if I am choosing out of reaction or fear, and instead I must ask myself if it would be different if I was choosing my response, I must ask myself if this choice is in alignment with my values.
What is your passion project? What are three ideals you are dying to implement in your life? Listen deeply. It may help to identify some quiet time to sit in silence or meditation. I recommend at least 10-20 minutes. Then pick up your journal and write. Without thinking. Just write. Write non-stop for 5-10 minutes. As you re-read what you wrote, you might just discover your passion project.
I’d love to hear from you. I want to hear your story, and I want to hear what you have discovered is your passion project.